It is 8:30 p.m. and this mama is about to go to bed. Wanna know why? I am about to head to bed because I woke up with the worst headache, sinus gunk, and sore throat and have not been able to shake it all day. I’ve never liked to be sick (I mean who LIKES to be sick), but as a mom it has to be one of the more difficult things to get through, aside from the little being sick of course.
What I find strange is the fact that even though I didn’t feel well all day I am still beating myself up because I didn’t do enough with Braven today. He watched too much TV, bad mom, he wanted to play and I couldn’t muster the energy to do it, bad mom, and the list goes on and on and on.
In the back of my mind I know this is ridiculous. My son is very loved and he knows it. He is in no way neglected. So why is it that I am constantly feeling the whole “bad mom” thing? Some days I just want to tell my brain to “shut up” that I am not ruining my kid but of course my brain doesn’t exactly listen.
Reflecting back tonight I realized something, something that EVERY mom, grandma, aunt, friend tells you, “if you feel like a bad mom, you’re probably a good mom.” I always heard it but I never really GOT it, ya know? Tonight though as I’m beating myself up because I didn’t do any type of sensory, gross motor, fine motor, or special activity with Braven today I realized how ridiculous I was being.
I hate feeling like I’m failing my child, but I hate even more having this feeling when I KNOW that I am not. Mom guilt is real and it’s hard. It hurts and is one of the many things that keeps a lot of us up at night (I hope I’m not alone here).
So ladies I challenge you the next time you feel the mom guilt coming on, tell yourself this. “I am a D*** good mama, but I’m not a perfect mama. My child doesn’t need nor want a perfect mom. I am enough and I do enough. Today has been hard but tomorrow will be better!” Sing it, chant it, SHOUT it if you’d like, just say the words and believe the words.
I know this won’t eliminate mom guilt and I know I will still have days where it will eat at me, but I refuse to sit back and let it consume me. So somedays he may get too much TV time or not enough fun activities but I can promise he is always loved, cared for, and happy and that right there is enough.